Gay fetish: the infinite shelf life of homo-distraction|
Katy McKy Raw Story Columnist
Published: January 30, 2006The sky isn't falling, but it's fraying.
The ozone, that blanket of O3 between oblivion and us, dissolves when we spray fluorocarbons.
The oceans rise. Divorce rates also rise, as more and more Americans, especially in the red states, emulate Britney Spear's matrimonial habits.
Burn us off the global body
Then there's more. According to Sir James Lovelock, the original Gaian guy, the Earth is treating us like a virus, raising the temp to burn us off the global body.
With every factory closing, we become more a nation of consumers and borrowers rather than producers and savers.
And we're borrowing 2 trillion dollars to fund our Iraqi imperialism.
Via that imperialism, we've cultivated a fresh crop of terrorists.
We're running out of oil, but we're running high on gluttony. And so on.
Gay people are taking over
And what worries the Right? Brokeback Mountain! And gay marriage.
As a college class exercise, a friend of mine recently interviewed a classmate.
My friend asked, "What don't you like about America?"
The 18-year old classmate said, "Off the record, gay people are taking over."
Homosexualizing of America
What has taken over is the discussion of gay people. Whereas I consider the civil rights of gay people to be fundamental to the American dream and a requisite for Constitutional integrity, I consider the Right's ad nauseam appetite for gay-themed diatribes to be a deadly diversion.
Janet Parshall, the talk show host, said on the January 17th edition of Larry King Live, "After all, I think what we're witnessing, Larry, is the homosexualizing of America."
What most recently wadded up Parshall's panties and shoved them so far up her rectum that it'll take a proctologist to remove them is Brokeback Mountain. It's a semi-mainstream movie and it has Parshall squawking that the sky is falling.
Well, Ms. Parshall, the sky is fraying. The oceans are rising. So is the temp. And what worries you? Make-believe amour between a couple comely sheepherders?
The hunky horror, the hunky horror.
Homosexuality is sin
Parshall and others assert that homosexuality is sin. Thus, if one is straight and frames homosexuality as sin, it's the sweetest sin, for it's not one's sin.
This gives homosexuality an infinite shelf life.
It's never grows stale, for whereas it demands change of others, it requires no personal change. No sacrifice.
So long as one is straight and heterosexuality demarcates purity, one is permanently pure.
Delivering healthcare to all children
Thus, such Right-thinking straight people can use homosexuality as their fetish object for moral masturbation.
It would be merely creepy if it didn't keep the Right from the work of weaning ourselves off oil, decreasing the production of gases that accelerate global warming, equalizing education, delivering healthcare to all children, and so on.
On a personal level, the gay moral fetish distracts from Biblical adherence.
As long as Rush Limbaugh rants about queer folk, he's distracted from returning to his first wife, as the Bible demands.
As long as Parshall squawks about Brokeback Mountain, she won't have to forsake her family and her fortune, as the Bible also demands.
As oil prices rise, the oceans, and the temperature rise
Perhaps the homophobe should pay gay people for their perpetual diversion. One pays a cable provider for the television shows that distract us from the work of our time and the deprivations of the future, for as oil prices, the oceans, and the temperature rise and rise, quality of life will fall and fall.
So, shouldn't the homophobes of the Right pay gay folks for distracting them from their patriotic duties and their Christian duties, since those duties are hard and their distraction means that their children and grandchildren will bear the brunt of massive debt and monstrous drought?
Like the 18-year old who believes that what's wrong with America is that "gay people are taking over," when you can hold back your rising worries with a sturdy dyke, life is good. For now.
Queer people are the divine other
But gay people do more than distract. They pander to our inveterate desire for an other. Queer people are the divine other, for homo-bigots believe that they have Biblical clearance to hate.
"Yes, uh, Flight 2002," they imagine God saying, "you have clearance to land on the civil rights of your fellow homosexual citizens. On final approach, you might run into some Constitutional interference, but tune that out and when you taxi over to the tarmac, we'll, uh, amend that Constitution."
The homo-fetish also serves an ancient purpose.
It's no longer safe to publicly articulate racial hatred.
But there remains a deep desire to define and elevate oneself by what one isn't.
With God's green light, the fundy Right references gays everyday.
However, with only 3 gay references in the Bible, and a hundred times that number of warnings against wealth, the arithmetic suggests that the real work of being a Christian is casting off wealth.
Jesus told one story
Jesus told one story about a man going to Hell.
That man was a rich man, a man who lived on the sweet side of a wall while a poor man suffered on the other.
But walking away from wealth would be Hell on Earth for those that love manna more than their fellow man.
So, thank God for gay folks.
Katie McKy is the author of It All Began With a Bean, which answers a child's true query: "What would happen if everyone in the world passed gas at once?" Her work can be found regularly on Raw Story. You can visit her online at www.KatieMcKy.com