Enron? Lay? Arnold Schwarzenegger blesses sweetheart settlements? The WE News Archives

Arnold Unplugged
Greg Palast, October 4, 2003

It's hasta la vista to $9 billion if the Governator is selected.

It's not what Arnold Schwarzenegger did to the girls a decade back that should raise an eyebrow.   According to a series of memoranda our office obtained today, it's his dalliance with the boys in a hotel room just two years ago that's the real scandal.

The wannabe governor has yet to deny that on May 17, 2001, at the Peninsula Hotel in Los Angeles, he had consensual political intercourse with Enron chieftain Kenneth Lay.   Also frolicking with Arnold and Ken was convicted stock swindler Mike Milken.

Now, thirty-four pages of internal Enron memoranda have just come through this reporter's fax machine tell all about the tryst between Maria's husband and the corporate con men.   It turns out that Schwarzenegger knowingly joined the hush-hush encounter as part of a campaign to sabotage a Davis-Bustamante plan to make Enron and other power pirates then ravaging California pay back the $9 billion in illicit profits they carried off.

Here's the story Arnold doesn't want you to hear.   The biggest single threat to Ken Lay and the electricity lords is a private lawsuit filed last year under California's unique Civil Code provision 17200, the "Unfair Business Practices Act."   This litigation, heading to trial now in Los Angeles, would make the power companies return the $9 billion they filched from California electricity and gas customers.

It takes real cojones to bring such a suit.   Who's the plaintiff taking on the bad guys?   Cruz Bustamante, Lieutenant Governor and reluctant leading candidate against Schwarzenegger.

Now follow the action.   One month after Cruz brings suit, Enron's Lay calls an emergency secret meeting in L.A. of his political buck-buddies, including Arnold.   Their plan, to undercut Davis (according to Enron memos) and "solve" the energy crisis — that is, make the Bustamante legal threat go away.   How can that be done?   Follow the trail with me.

While Bustamante's kicking Enron butt in court, the Davis Administration is simultaneously demanding that George Bush's energy regulators order the $9 billion refund.   Don't hold your breath: Bush's Federal Energy Regulatory Commission is headed by a guy proposed by … Ken Lay.

But Bush's boys on the commission have a problem.   The evidence against the electricity barons is rock solid: fraudulent reporting of sales transactions, megawatt "laundering," fake power delivery scheduling and straight out conspiracy (including meetings in hotel rooms).

So the Bush commissioners cook up a terrific scheme: charge the companies with conspiracy but offer them, behind closed doors, deals in which they have to pay only two cents on each dollar they filched.

Problem: the slap-on-the-wrist refunds won't sail if the Governor of California won't play along.   Solution: Re-call the Governor.

New Problem: the guy most likely to replace Davis is not Mr. Musclehead, but Cruz Bustamante, even a bigger threat to the power companies than Davis.   Solution: smear Cruz because — heaven forbid! he took donations from Injuns (instead of Ken Lay).

The pay-off?   Once Arnold is Governor, he blesses the sweetheart settlements with the power companies.   When that happens, Bustamante's court cases are probably lost.   There aren't many judges who will let a case go to trial to protect a state if that a governor has already allowed the matter to be "settled" by a regulatory agency.

So think about this.   The state of California is in the hole by $8 billion for the coming year.   That's chump change next to the $8 TRILLION in deficits and surplus losses planned and incurred by George Bush.   Nevertheless, the $8 billion deficit is the hanging rope California's right wing is using to lynch Governor Davis.

Yet only Davis and Bustamante are taking direct against to get back the $9 billion that was vacuumed out of the state by Enron, Reliant, Dynegy, Williams Company and the other Texas bandits who squeezed the state by the bulbs.

But if Arnold is selected, it's 'hasta la vista' to the $9 billion.   When the electricity emperors whistle, Arnold comes — to the Peninsula Hotel or the Governor's mansion.   The he-man turns pussycat and curls up in their lap.

I asked Mr. Muscle's PR people to comment on the new Enron memos — and his strange silence on Bustamante's suit or Davis' petition.   But Arnold was too busy shaving off his Hitlerian mustache to respond.

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Published on Wednesday, October 8, 2003 by CommonDreams.org

Arnold in Wonderland: Curiouser and Curiouser

"Why, I know I've seen him before," Alice thought.   "But I don't think his name was Arnold Schwarznegger.   I'm sure I must have reached the very bottom of the rabbit hole."

However, the rabbit hole was much deeper than Alice suspected.

Returning to the Mad Hatter's tea party, she found that the Mad Hatter, the March Hare, and all the other guests she had once known were gone.   In their place were a fabulously wealthy Republic businessman (GOP), a network television executive (TV), and a political public relations consultant (PR).

"2004 could be a disaster," TV moaned.   "George W. is losing his appeal faster than a stick of used chewing gum.   The Democrats have a field of nobodies to run against him.   Next year's presidential debates will probably get lower ratings than re-runs of Gilligan's Island.   We won't be able to sell political advertising.   We'll have to give it away."

"That's just why I'm here," GOP chimed in.   "To save your day.   It's time to amend the Constitution, to get rid of the silly rule that says you have to be born in the U.S. to become president.   Wjhen we heard Arnold was running for governor, my friends and I set up the 28th Amendment Campaign.   We chipped in $10 million to get it started.   But it's way bigger than that now.   Of course we want to keep it quiet for a while.   We figure we'll go public the day after Arnold is inaugurated."

TV breathed a huge sigh of relief.   "'Arnold For President.'   It makes so much sense.   After all, politics has always been part rational discourse and part show business.   People once went to the Lincoln-Douglas debates the way they go to rock concerts today.   With Arnold, it may be a bit less logic, a bit more glitz.   That's just changing the proportions.   But hey, it's the wave of the future, the wave that Ronald Reagan surfed for twenty years.   We all survived.   And ratings were sky high."

PR spoke up: "It makes my job so much easier.   Politics is all about name recognition.   Who ever heard of Cruz Bustamante? Arnold got all the coverage because he was already a star.   No PR firm had to make him one.   You couldn't make Bustamante a star of Arnold's magnitude, no matter how much you spend."

TV felt a bit defensive: "Hey, we don't decide who the people want to see.   We just give them who they want.   Why should we waste time covering a loser like Bustamante if no one wants to see his face? We're in business to make money, you know."

"Exactly," GOP chimed in.   "That's why we need the 28th Amendment Campaign.   First, we get a massive TV blitz to get the amendment passed.   Then Arnold runs in '04, and the public is glued to the screen from convention day to election day.   Everybody wins.   Of course, we may have a bit of a problem with the intellectuals.   You know, the talking heads."

"No problem at all," PR assured him.   "I've got the campaign all lined out.

First: Why should the presidency be restricted to the native-born? Why shouldn't the people be able to choose the best person for the job, no matter where he-or she-was born.   Suppose we want Kofi Annan or the Dalai Lama?"

"Or Jackie Chan," TV quipped, only partly joking.

"Second:" PR continued, "Let's get practical.   Look how many millions it would take to make Cruz Bustamante, or Howard Dean, or even John Kerry a household name.   That money is corrupting our political system, as everyone knows.   Let's take the money out of politics.   Let's make sure that candidates for office are already household names.   No need to spend millions to get people interested in Arnold Schwarznegger."

"Or Jackie Chan," TV quipped again, only partly joking.

"Right," PR continued.   "Voters want a known product.   They don't like the unknown, the untested."

Alice couldn't help laughing.   "Arnold Schwarznegger is a tested political leader?" she burst in.

"Go away, little girl," PR retorted.   "You don't understand politics at all.   Arnold has proven himself where it counts.   At the box office.   Voting booth, ticket booth.   It's all the same."

"We'll need some big stars to promote the 28th Amendment Campaign," GOP pointed out.

"Jackie Chan," TV responded, this time in dead earnest.   "And how about Penelope Cruz? There's a Cruz everyone knows.   We can flood the air with 30-second spots.   Penelope's beautiful pouting face, and the voice-over: 'Its not fair.   Why can't I be president?'   Arnold won't ever have to say a word.   He can just sit there and grin like the Cheshire Cat."

"That's where I saw him before!" Alice exclaimed.   "No matter how closely I looked at Arnold and how hard I studied him, there was nothing there but a huge grin.   Naturally, I thought he was the Cheshire Cat."

Worried about the 28th Amendment, but relieved to have at least this one little mystery solved, Alice went on her way.   Soon she came across a man in a suit with a Democratic Party lapel pin, and two beautiful people locked in a furious quarrel.

"I'm the male lead," the beautiful young man shouted.   "I get to run for governor.   You can run for lieutenant governor."

"I've had it with your male chauvinism!" the beautiful woman shouted back.   "It's about time California had a woman governor.   So I'll run for governor and you can be my lieutenant."

"Please, please stop this quarreling," the man in the suit begged.   "Ben. J. Lo.   Let's get this settled so we can begin the recall campaign."

"Curiouser and curiouser," was all that Alice could say.

Ira Chernus is Professor of Religious Studies at the University of Colorado at Boulder. chernus [at] colorado.edu